The Lord is moving in my home. And I delight at the thought of it. For a while I was hesitant to obey. Disinterested in sacrificing. Resistant to the unpleasant pruning process. Faithless.
But then, I suppose I was sharing the Gospel with myself...which is perhaps the best advice I could give anyone regarding any situation, but anyways...I was sharing the Gospel with myself, and an overwhelming sense of exhaustion came over me. I was exhausted with myself. Fed up with myself. Exasperated from wanting and needing and wanting and wanting. And the worst part, when one is confronted with the ugly truth of selfishness is that one can't very well be rid of themselves, can they?...Where ever you go, there you are. It's a dilemma that has plagued us all since Adam and Eve. But...WE HAVE THE GOSPEL!
And consequently, my heart is starting to soften.
I have been encouraged and challenged.
Through Bible study.
Through Community.
Through Doug Wilson's book Standing on the Promises.
Through reading blogs from women all over the world who are fighting consumerism, embracing simplicity and enjoying life more because of it.
Through meeting with women younger than myself. How real God is when you speak of Him out loud!
Through prayer and WRESTLING with God over the running of our household.
Through submitting to His answers...which, can I just say, is brutal to those of us who struggle with self-absorption?!
Through hard conversations with my husband, and seeing that while God was stirring in me, He was also stirring in Casey, uniting us with like-minds and like-hearts.
And so, together we have committed to take one small, giant step, and that is to think about what is true, and honorable, and just, and lovely and commendable and excellent and worthy of praise (Phil 4:8). Unfortunately, we haven't always set our mind on these good things. We will rest here for a while. Praying this Truth. Believing this Truth. Delighting in this Truth, because a promise follows..."practice these things and the God of Peace will be with you."
With this verse in mind, it makes me smile to think that wherever I go, there I am, but...so is the God of Peace.
Ha! That has got to be the thorniest thorn in the enemy's side!
7 comments:
That's a lot to think about. It's a hard process to go through but the rewards are worth the sacrifice. In hind sight, I am always glad I went through it and can see the fruit. That's the good stuff! Hang in there, friend!
sorry, i made a typo.
you've got me intrigued, girlfriend. i want to hear more; i know you probably can't spill all here. excited and happy for you.
i know...i was kinda vague. i will share more here on the blog, but in the mean time we do need to have a coffee date!
Beautiful post...I love you!
that is a good place to be...
i think about how hard disciplining the kids is, but it is in these times that i am showing my love. by doing what is hard for me consistently, i am offering love. and i think that goes for our Father as well. i'm sure it is painful for him to discipline us- but he does it, fully extending his love to us.
This is such a side not Steph, and I am sorry for its randomness, but I have a few questions about Marburger. Could I ask you a few? Thanks.
Thanks. my address jkneumann(at)gmail(dot)com
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