Monday, August 11, 2008

Olympic Thoughts

I've been watching the Olympics fairly closely this go around. Allow me to share my Olympic thoughts.

1. If the human body is capable of doing these things....then perhaps I've slept in a few too many times. I mean, I'm not saying that I want to be an Olympic athlete...but man...a little more sweat in my life wouldn't hurt. It's like they are using 100% of their bodies and I'm using 6%...maybe 8% if I scrub the tub or something.

2. Last week swimming meant nothing to me. In fact, I really hate swimming. Suddenly, swimming is a freakishly important priority in my life and I am deeply and emotionally invested in the success of Michael Phelps. That relay where the US beat the French...oh my gosh! AMAZING!!!

3. Speaking of swimming...why do they wear unitards now? I realize it must make them swim faster, but if they would all just wear normal swimming trunks then no one would have an unfair advantage and...well, it would just be better.

4. And the men divers! Oh my goodness! Two reassuring thoughts about those swim suits. (You might not be able to see them, but they are wearing a miniscule suggestion of a swim suit.) 1. They cannot possibly get any smaller. Impossible. 2. The fact that those suits don't come flying off when the divers hit the water means that they are cRRRazy tight.

5. I am at this moment watching the Chinese men's gymnastic team. Their coach basically said that if they didn't win 5 gold medals then they might as well not have come. Uuuh... :) Can I just tell you that if I was at the Olympics as the water girl...my grandkids would never hear the end of it...and I would seriously consider writing an autobiography.

6. To be an Olympian you must spend 22 hours a day training and then the final two shaving. Or waxing.

7. Fencing, even Olympic fencing is not very interesting. Weird, but not interesting. Way to go USA girls for the sweep though!

8. The commentators remove almost all suspence. I remember there used to be some mystery to the games. Anyone, from anywhere could win. Not now. Now, the comentators just come right out and say, "Johnny is the likey winner of this event. Davy doesn't have a chance." And usually they're right. Why do I even bother watching?

9. Why do women gymnasts do that chest pump thing so much? Does that serve any purpose? I don't think it does. I think that one really good gymnast did that a long time ago...maybe she had a nervous twitch or something, but she was still really good so all the little girl gymnasts wanted to be like her. So really, the Olympic gymnasts of our generation are choreographing a nervous twitch into their routines. If there was a gymnasts who didn't do that, I would vote for her. But there is no such girl, and we don't get to vote. Bummer.

10. There is a 33 year old gymnast on the German team. That rocks! I would vote for her even with the twitch. That makes me think that if I really work hard, I could make it to the Olympics. Well, while I figure out what my sport will be, I'm going to go shave my legs.

20 comments:

Erin said...

I've thought many similar things. And feel the same way about swimming. You wouldn't catch me dead at a swim meet, but this week, I've forsaken everything to watch! I love Phelps - and, yeah, that relay was just the BEST!
I have another gymnast question (girls) - why the scrunchie!!! Completely uncalled for!
I also always have this feeling of incongruity when I'm marvelling at their physical prowess while my butt is parked on the couch watching them! It's a little like watching an exercise video from a lazy boy!

Steph said...

Yes! The scrunchie!!! And all those freakin' clips! I guess they're in the gym too much to realize that the scrunchie is out. On the other hand, nothing on their body giggles...so that can make up for the bad hair fashion. :) I would wear a scrunchie if it meant that my rear would look like that! :)

Brandi said...

i had a friend in college who went to the olympics in atlanta....as a waitress. i think that's more my speed. she was basically a beer girl up in the box seats. she saw a ton of events and met a lot of interesting people.
or i would love to dance around in the opening ceremony in some kind of goofy costume.

Jessica King said...

LOL!! You are hilarious!

Too many good lines in there!

Catherine Haskew said...

I'm glad someone is posting thoughts on the Olympics cause I have had a few myself. I am dying to know how none of the gymnast get wedgies (please excuse my spelling). You would think with all that fliping around everyone would be showing some serious hiney but no! What is their secret? I have heard in beauty pagents they use hairspray to keep their swim suits in place, maybe gymnast have cans of super hold hair spray in their backpacks.

Cynthia said...

Ha! Phil and I have been commenting on similar things as well. Also, I am mesmerized by the swimmers breathing techniques. How do they go so fast, come up for air for like half a second, and never suck in water?! And, do we really need a close up shot of the guys taking down the tops of their unitards after the meet?? Makes me feel like I am intruding and being naughty! :)

Jen said...

maybe the guys switched to unitards so they don't have to shave their legs....

and while the divers in tiny suits do shave I noticed that many water polo men in small suits do not. the fact that they pretty much stay under water pleases me.

Rebecca said...

I've always loved watching the swimming and diving events - thanks to my dad instilling that passion in me. Though, I'm sure it was supposed to be more of ME getting out and doing it than watching it. Oh well. Ok - to the unitard - it does help with streamlining and not dragging water by stray hair left behind from countless waxing appointments ;) And as for the commentators - they were so WRONG when it came to the mens 4x100!!! Go USA!! Man - that was AWESOME.

Casey Cease said...

Honey, did you mean jiggles? Or does their body really giggle, like make little girl laughing noises? ;-)

Great post...

Casey
caseycease.blogspot.com <- Enter to win before Wednesday, Aug 13th!

Steph said...

yes...i meant jiggles. :)

thanks for catching that, honey. and thanks for the link to your blog contest...i think i should win just for letting you advertise on my comment section.

The Spurgeon book please. ;)

annette said...

I love the Olympics...except Volleyball and when it airs, I think will it ever end. I am pumped for the USA...and I am so old I remember the weird things the female gymnasts wore in their hair prior to the invention of the scrunchie...

Alicia Z said...

I LOVED the men's relay!! I was yelling at the Frenchies to go sit down and shut their mouth! :P I got really into that one. I was also thrilled that the Men's Gymnastics team won the bronze when everyone thought they wouldn't medal. All first timers, 2alternates, and they tried so hard! I also agree with Bela that the Chinese girls are NOT all 16. One definately looked maybe 12. Yes, gymnasts are really small, but like Shawn Johnson her face etc look 16. This one chinese girl, not even close. I agree about the announcers, they really got on my nerves during men's gymnastics. They can be so pessimistic! I agree with Erin, I feel more fit after watching haha! Then I wish I had gotten into a sport!

ALicia

Andy said...

first, with all the talk about male swimmers and gymnasts here, i have to say that the media has noticeably spent less time filming the backsides of misty may and kerri walsh than they did last olympics. in 2004 it seemed like they were showing their beach-going buns ever other segment. i'm not complaining, just commenting.

second, i heard that the chinese men's gymnastic's coach said if the team didn't win gold, he'd jump off the tallest building in beijing. "eh, no pressure guys, but your coach will KILL HIMSELF if you don't win. now, go get 'em."

monique said...

OK Steph, you made my day - so very funny! Seriously, you should submit this to readers digest or something - It's crazy funny. Here are my thoughts.
1.I'm thinking there is a lot of body tape happening at the olympics between the divers and the gymnists. I can't quit thinking about it and wondering how bad it hurts when they remove it.
2.Did you catch the bio on Phelps the other day when he said he must consume between 8,000 and 10,000 calories per day. OMG!
3. What's with the screeming fencing girls? Is it a scare tactic or are they in pain. I feel unsure.

mandi said...

you're going to shave? why, you're on your way to the olympics as we speak! i must say, i particularly enjoyed this post because, alas, we get NO olympic coverage. none. and when i tried to get it online i had to enter my cable service provider. hello! if i had a provider i wouldn't be logging on to check out the tiny but insanely strong girl gymnasts. however, i do get tyra banks on at least 2 of my 6 channels 3 times a day. so sad, so sad...

Sara Triana said...

I laughed all the way through this post and through all of the comment. The scrunchie remarks, and wondering what in the world your friend saw them pull their hair back before the scrunchie were funny. I like your remarks about fencing. What brought me the most amusement was definitely the part about your bottom that giggles like a little girl.

Jenn said...

haha steph i, too, have had the same thoughts.

BUT. i heard that phelps gets tested for drugs 3x the limit to PROVER that he doesnt use drugs ... admirable i must say - because no one would probably believe him.

and. my roommate printed out a picture of phelps to put on our fridge with a quote saying "i've won 11 golds ... what have you done today?"

haha

Erin said...

This is the best post (and comments) EVER!! Awesome, Steph!

Bailey said...

I enjoyed your thoughts on the Olympics...and I agree with most of your thoughts. You are so funny. I hope you have a terrific week!!!

Alicia Z said...

I watched a thing with Michael Phelps and his mom. He has ADHD and said he was bullied as a kid, kids used to say he was funny looking. When he made the Olympic team at 15, someone came up and told him Congrats. He acted like he didn't remember him. Turns out the guy tormented him at a swim meet, he didn't want to acknowledge that he remembered him. I gained even more respect for him, he fought hard and proved the haters wrong! I am a Phelps Phan! HEHE! (yes I stole that from the commercial)